Making the decision to divorce is always a traumatic and emotional decision. This decision is made even more painful when a couple have children. How to tell your children you are ending your marriage takes tact, maturity and kindness.
No matter which parent is filing the petition, both need to think about the well being of their children. Parents need to put aside their feelings of hurt and anger towards each other when informing their children of their upcoming divorce. It is best if both spouses are present while telling your children of your decision, as this sends the message that both parents love their children and also the children can count on both parents to be there for them.
It is very important for parents to keep their emotions in check and not blame each other for the divorce. Parents can be honest in telling their children the reasons why they are divorcing without going into too many details that can cause pain and anguish to their children. It is essential to let your children know they are not the reason behind your divorce.
While breaking the news of your divorce, this is also a good time to bring up the changes that will be occurring in your children’s lives. Explaining such things as living accommodations, visitation schedules and any other changes that might take place as a result of the divorce, will help them prepare for the divorce. It is very important to reassure your children at this time they will be able to maintain the quality relationship they have with both parents and the divorce will not change your love for them. However, it is also important to be practical and honest at this time and not make promises you cannot keep.
Do not expect your children to act positively to the news of their parent’s upcoming divorce. Even though you may as kindly and tactfully as possible relate this information, your children may cry, show anger or even stop talking to you. Children are very sensitive and have trouble expressing and handling intense emotions. They will need time to become accustomed to the thought of their parent’s marriage ending.
Although divorce is a difficult and emotional time in a child’s life, a parent by following the above advice, can help their children adjust and cope with not only the divorce itself, but assist them in living a healthy, successful life afterwards, as well.